MTatHome Gazette

Text Box: by Frank McGinty My neighbors' kid impressed me the other day. I was busy painting the backyard fence, when their ten-year old son came out with the vacuum cleaner. He opened the front panel, removed the bag, and put it in the bin. Then he took a replacement bag, fitted it, and went back indoors - probably to get on with the vacuum cleaning! Fifteen minutes later he came out with a large plastic rubbish bag and put it in the bin too. The young kid was at ease with his chores. He was his usual pleasant self and there was no sign of moodiness or resentment. Clearly his parents had taught their kids in a way which - I have to admit!- my wife and I didn't teach ours. When our family was growing we tended to do most of the chores ourselves. We were keen - well, my wife was keen! - to ensure that we shared the chores as a couple. This approach backfired as the kids were growing. Since there was no clearly defined 'chore chart' and since requests for their help were only made occasionally, there was a certain reluctance most of the time. Even today there can be the odd dispute about who should walk the dog - and loading the dishwasher, it seems, is one of life's mysteries revealed only to parents. So here's my advice: Don't do what we did! Be like our neighbors and start them young. Bring them up to realize that if you live in a home, you contribute to the home. If they grow into this routine, there's unlikely to be resentment or ill-feeling - provided the chores are allocated fairly, of course. What about parents whose older kids who have got off lightly? Well, you could continue to slave after your charges - but why not start a new regime? One approach often suggested is that you appeal to the teenager's sense of duty, highlighting their obligations to themselves and others. But psychologists tell us that approach is the LEAST likely to work with teens. It's a fact of human nature that people tend to respond more when there's a clear benefit for themselves. So why not stress the benefits of getting involved in the household chores? Help them see it as an opportunity to develop confidence and independence. When they go off to college or move into a flat or apartment, how are they going to feel if they can't cope? How are they going to look in front of friends if they can't cook, can't wash and iron their clothes, and can't tidy up after themselves? If they learn these skills, they won't be stranded! If your kids are coming to household chores after years of having things done for them, you may need to use a reward system to help them over their inertia. No, not gold stars and trips to the zoo! (continued on page 5)

Text Box: by Cherie S It doesn’t make sense does it? You do everything possible as a new parent to keep your baby healthy and happy. So why is it, your baby decides to start screaming inconsolably right around dinner time? Just when you need it least. Ask yourself… • When your baby starts crying, is it for spells of 3 or more hours at a time?
• Do these crying spells happen 3 or more times a week?
• Did you notice the crying spells becoming more apparent about the 3rd week after you brought your baby home? If you’ve answered yes to the above questions, you might have a baby with colic. Colic is the diagnosis many pediatricians tag on a baby who is otherwise healthy and thriving, but follows the “Rule of Threes” as stated above. A colic baby has episodes of inconsolable crying beginning around the 3rd week of life, lasting at least 3 hours a day, for at least 3 days a week. Attempting to calm a colicky infant can leave a parent emotionally battered and physically exhausted. Some doctors believe the cause of colic stems from your baby having a pain in the gut. “Colic” actually comes from the Greek word kalakos, which means “suffering in the colon.” Sometimes, simply changing the baby’s diet can help dramatically (or changing the mother’s diet in the case of breastfeeding). However, another theory is emerging about the cause of colic. Some doctors believe an underdeveloped and immature nervous system may be the cause of colic crying. When a baby is born, its head isn’t big enough to house a brain that is mature enough to have all the survival tools a human infant needs. A baby’s brain is only the size of an apple. The birth canal cannot handle a bigger head. So, when a baby is born, the only inherent survival skills they possess are sneezing, sucking, swallowing and….CRYING! Eighty percent of babies are capable of crying for a reason, and then calming themselves down. They are awake for awhile to learn and accept stimuli. Then they sleep to recover and awake to take in more stimuli. A colicky baby is high-maintenance. Their nervous system is overloaded with all the sights and sounds of a new world. And by about dinner time, they’ve had it. The crying begins. Once they start crying, they lack the mechanism to calm themselves down. In my experience, most mothers with colicky infants tell the same story. Their baby fights going to sleep. They won’t take a nap. They won’t stay asleep once they do finally go to sleep. These poor babies never take the time to recover from all the stimuli they have taken in over the course of a day. What can you, as a parent, do to eliminate these crying spells? An effective method to calming a colicky infant is by using white noise to mask environmental stimuli. (continued on page 5)